Cyberbubba Central - One-Liners for Computer/Cyber Geeks

ONE-LINERS and MORE TOPICAL QUOTATIONS
FOR THE NEW MILLENIUM

[ ONE-LINERS MAIN PAGE ] [ One-Liners for Trekkies ] [ One-Liners for Computer/Cyber Geeks ]
[ Topical Quotes - DOGS ] [ Topical Quotes - ] [ Topical Quotes - ]
[ Topical Quotes - ] [ Topical Quotes - ] [ Topical Quotes - ]

[ ADVICE ] [ SARCASTIC ] [ PROVERBS ] [ WISDOM ]
[ SHAKESPEARE ] [ LOVE ] [ STUPID ] [ ONE A DAY ]
[ George Bernard Shaw ] [ Sir Walter Raleigh ] [ MAIN QUOTATIONS PAGE ]

..... and for all of you Computer geeks, Cyberoids, and PC junkies out there, here's the Computer/Cyber geek One-Liners- Please feel free to send in your contributions, and please visit the main site for more great One-Liners.

One-Liners for the Computer and/or Cyber Types

A.real.long.HPFS.filename ADOSLIKE.NME

A program is used to turn data into error messages

A programmer's work is never done <Sigh!>

A social life? From what board can I download THAT?

Adult GIF files are meant for testing monitors!

All sysops are not user friendly!

ANY KEY will initiate hard drive format. Continue? Y or N

Anything that can go wr ... # ^% Bus Error -- Core Dumped

Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key

Are ya daft man? The modem canna take this speed!

Are you sure (N/N)?

Are you using Windows, or is that just an XT?

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

At the prompt, remove disk, stomp on it, then retry

Avoid Computer virus - practice safe HEX!

Backup is for whimps!

Bad command. Bad, bad command. Sit! Staay

BBS addiction is a terminal disease

Become a programmer and never see the world!

Believe me... It's a hardware problem or a Virus

Beta-testers do it for free

Beware of geeks bearing .GIFs

Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers

Blessed are the pessimists; they make backups!

C:\PROGRAM, C:\PROGRAM\RUN, C:\PROGRAM\BOMB, C:\PROGRAMMER\BUY.UZI

C:\WINDOWS>DEL *.* I feel better now!

Caffeine - the ultimate debugging tool

Can I upgrade my hard drive to a warp drive?

But I thought YOU did the backups...

Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage

Your motherboard wears COM.BAT reboots!

WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??

You ASCII stupid question, you get stupid ANSI

COBOL, like cancer, can be cured if deleted early

COBOL.....(C)ompiles (O)nly (B)ecause (O)f (L)uck

COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out

Coming Soon! Mouse Support for Edlin!

Computers also eliminate spare time

Computers can never replace human stupidity

Computers run on faith, not electrons

Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline writer!

Damn the documentation, full speed ahead!

Danger! Human at keyboard!

Death is just God's way of dropping carrier.

DEFINITION: Disassembler - An unattended five year old child

Do not press any key to continue

Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail

Docs? Why would I wanna look at th' docs? Th' nurses are much prettier!

DOS ERROR: Please remove cat from drive A:...

Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!

Enter any 12-digit prime number to continue:

Error in REALITY.SYS down, Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?

Error:014-Nonexistent Error. This cannot be happening

EtherNet: What you use to catch the Ether Bunny

Even Programers need a "bit" of love

Ever wanted to download pizza?

f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng

FILE ALLOCATION TABLE BAD: One leg fell off

File not found. Del *.* and change directory? (Y/y)

Fill'em up with ZIP standard sir? No, ARJ premium please!

Fingers not found - Pound head on keyboard to continue

Floppy not responding, format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N ?

Forget RTFM..., Phone the Author at home!

Forgive me Father for I have GOTO'd

Funny, it worked when I had it plugged in

General Stupidity Error reading drive A:

Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer

grep..grep..grep... (Frog w/UNIX stuck in throat)

Guns don't kill. Fast-moving projectiles do

Hail Eris! All hail Discordia!

Happiness is a warm modem

He who laughs last probably made a backup

HELL (n): Backing up a 1GB hard drive with 360K floppies

Help! I've got my floppy caught in my PkZip!

Honest teacher. A virus really DID eat my homework!

How do I set my Laser printer to "Stun"?

How do you get cat hair out of a hard drive?

How do you make Windows go faster? Throw it harder!

How to double your hard drive space: Delete Windows

I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!

(                Space for rent....CHEAP!               )

...going where no clusters have gone before

1 + 2 = 3 Therefore 4 + 5 = 6

100% compression using "DEL *.*"

:.::: ::..: ::.::. :..:: Tagline in Braille

<CTRL>+<ALT>+<DEL> to continue...

?? Fatal Logic Error - Engage Brain and (R)etry

I had a life once...now I have a computer

I have a Betazoid modem - it downloads the files it senses I want

I have a Betazoid modem - it senses what boards I want to call

I NEVER Read Taglines! Do You?

I th in k my Har d dis k is Fr agm ent ed ! !

I'm a modemer & I'm OK, I post all nite & I sleep all day

I've got 256K of RAM. Why can't I run Windows?

IBM: Inertia Breeds Mediocrity

IBM? [I]ncredibly [B]oring [M]anuals

If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!

If at first you don't succeed, try the reset button

If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft

If reading this on a BBS, press ALT-H for an IQ test!

If you can't fix a bug - write it in the documentation as a feature

Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF

Interrupt conflict, new mail found. Real life on hold

It can't get wierd enough for me!

It was a hard drive... I had to reboot my car with cold boot

It works better if you plug it in where it should be

It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC !

jIQub vaj jIwuQ (translation: I think, therefore I have a headache)

Keptin, our komputer vas inficted vith the Vindows wirus!

KEYBOARD - An instrument used for entering errors into a computer

Keyboard missing, press F1 to continue

Klingon tagline: Strike any user when ready

Line Noise! Ha, I don't get liž¥Éšõð NO CARRIER

Mispelled? Impossible my modem is error correcting

MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine

M y H ar d Dr i ve i sn' t f ra g m ent ed !!!

Mary had a little RAM - only about a MEG or so

MacIntosh: Computer With Training Wheels You Can't Remove

MACINTOSH: Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The OS Hangs!

Make friends with Sysops: Page at 3 a.m.

May your monitor Live Long, and Phosper!

MSwindows -- the world's first commercially successful virus

MULTITASKING: Taking a shower while you mail downloads

My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier

My Hard Disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT

My life is still in beta testing

WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted. System confused

Windows is a great virus-detector... infect it and it crashes

Windows is for fun, DOS is for getting things done

Windows is from the same authors as EDLIN!

Windows is Irrelevent. It's existance is futile

Windows isn't a virus. . . a virus does something

WINDOWS MULTITASKS! (in a DesqView window)

Windows open: Jump? [Y/y/y]

WINDOWS! From the same people who brought us EDLIN!

WINDOWS: An overpriced way to eat up HD space

Without C, we'd have BASI, PASAL, and OBOL!

WOMAN.ZIP Great program...no documentation!

My Spanish/Chinese houseboy writes my posts. Y'know, Manuel Tai-Ping

My spelling? Oh, it's just line noise

Network management is like trying to herd cats...

Never judge a man by his taglines

New from McAfee:WiScan. Removes all Windows programs

NO! I do NOT use taglines

Not enough personal mail found. Kill Mail Hub? (Y/N)

To reformat a CD-ROM use steel wool and light pressure

To whom the gods destroy, they first teach Windows...

Undocumented features will rule the Earth!

Turn your 486 into a Gameboy, type WIN at the C:\>

What do you mean you 'formatted the cat'?

Volume in drive C: is TOO_LOUD

What do you mean? You actually read this Tagline?!?

What heat-seeking missiles? I don't see$^#_ NO HARRIER

Oh give me a phone, with a modem on loan....

One of these days your 'puter will begin rebooting you

Open WINDOWS and you let BUGS in...

PATH = LOOK AROUND ON HD; DESK DRAWER; UNDER DESK; HALL CLOSET;

Press all the keys at once to continue

REALITY.SYS corrupted -- reboot Universe (Y/n)?

Purchasing Windows is an Unrecoverable Application Error

Press Ctrl- Alt- Shift- F12- Esc- Tab- PgDn- Home- Break-

Programs will expand to fill available memory

Putt knot yore trussed inn spall chequers!

Real Programmers don't need comments - the code is obvious

Remember, Speed kills! Try Windows to relax

Runtime error X29C.... operator terminated

Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!

Scratch your screen and sniff the static

Self service tagline. Think of something funny

SEVERE MENTAL ERROR: low level brain format recommended (Y/N)?

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue

Spaghetti code = job security

Stand back! It's a Beta!

Strike any user with a bat to continue...

Support the helpless victims of computers

SysOp : Person with a parity error between the ears

Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer

That's not a bug. It's supposed to do that

That's not line noise--my modem's speaking in tongues!

The backup's not over till the FAT table sings!

They said, "Get a life!". I got a computer instead

To err is human, to assimilate is BORG!

This our security officer Mr Worf. Would you like to beat him up?

To boldly go where no man has gone before

Tribble Math: * + Grain = *****************************

Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym

Unable to locate TEAEARLGREY.HOT - Enterprise halted!

The best way to accelerate Windows is at -9.8 m/s^2.

The bugs will go away when you turn off the computer!

The magic of Windows: Turns a 486 into an XT...

The Quest for a better tagline continues

The world is coming to an end - please log off now

There's ALWAYS one more bug!

There's safety in numbers: F16, F111, B2, F15, ...

YOU'RE VISITOR

LE FastCounter
THANK YOU!